A Christmas Update - [UPDATED WITH FACEBOOK NEWS]

Let me start by wishing all who read this all the best for the festive season of 2025. It is Boxing Day here in the UK as I write this; the house all asleep barr one cat and myself - Harley is sitting on the top of my office chair, peering over my shoulder as I type. I think she likes the sound of the keys.

After saying in October that I should use this website/blog more, I then proceeded to do exactly the opposite, getting caught up once more in tabletop hobby stuff, another thing I said I was now going to be avoiding. Well, turns out I reclaimed my hobby mojo, fuelled by the release of a new edition one of my favourite boardgames from my Games Workshop days - Blood Bowl. Think American Football but with fantasy races and creatures.

I've been painting again and have finished the Halfling team and partway through the Bretonnian one, with just the skeletal Tomb Kings waiting patiently. Lucy got me a ton of paints for Christmas so I'm well stocked up. I also got the rulebooks for another blast from my wargaming past, Warhammer: The Old World, a true rank and flank fantasy wargame. I'll be reading these over the coming months, diving into the lore and playing some games, proxying a Vampire Counts army against an Empire of Man force. And it doesn't stop there; I've begun what will be a long project throughout 2026, putting together a copy of the third and final fantasy game I loved back in the '90s, the dungeon crawler, Warhammer Quest. This fantastic boardgame sees players take on the role of adventurers, diving into the depths of the Old World in search of treasure, fame and glory as they battle the monstrous denizens of the dark. I've printed out the rules, made card decks for treasure, Events and the dungeon itself. Today I'll print out the boardsections. Over the coming months I'll be collecting the miniatures and painting them up and getting some games in.

It has been a good couple of months which has seen my joy start to return after what has been a very challenging 2025. We have committed to staying up this New Year's Eve to see this bitch of a year leave, to make sure it is gone, and double-tap it to make sure.

Work is going well, and with a recent small pay raise, things are in a much better position than they were six months ago. All the cut backs we made and the streamlining of our shopping budget has meant we are in a much better position financially. The book sales continue to come in at a steady rate, and I know that with a little promotion they would do even better, but sadly the main source of that is Facebook and until recently they had me banned from the site - I'm not sure why, the usual responses were all bot-related and I couldn't speak with anyone to get to the bottom of it. I've not missed it, but I know it is a much needed resource so I have created a new account and so far it all seems good. Let's see how long it takes them before they ban it again. [update: within an hour of creating the new account, they have already suspended it, made me do a video selfie to check I'm human and are now reviewing to see if I broke Community Standards. As I haven't posted anything, I'm not sure how that could have happened.]

Anyway, I'm now in a position where I'm ready to start writing again. In fact over the last week or so, I've had those wonderful moments every writer lives for when a story starts speaking to you, showing you the path forward and that butterfly-scratch in your blood starts getting stronger as the day gets closer when you start actually writing the story. I've had that happen now with two stories: the fourth Louise Miller book, plus a fantasy tale I've had bobbing around in my head for about ten years.

The literary novel needs more time to boil—I know the story, I just can't seem to find the right way in. This was the same issue I had with 'TIL IT BLEEDS. Despite numerous attempts to write it, and I must have done over 150'000 words across the various drafts, I couldn't get the book to work, but the last couple of weeks has seen a new way in and I'm pretty sure I'm going to start work on that, right from page 1 once again.

I have to write book 4 because the one I really want to write, is the fifth Louise Miller book, THE DEAD WITHIN. The story is ready for that, with the usual changes for whatever happens in book 4. I know some people will hate it but it is going to be really fun to write and I can't wait, but I need to get through book four first.

In fact I really want to finish the nine book series. I think readers will really enjoy the overarching story and how each character evolves across the series. So book four will need to get written first.

As always, this requires a new plan but I'm keeping it real simple. I'll be releasing digitally via KDP as I did with books 1-3, but over the coming months each current book will get a hardback version, along with a paperback a few months later. Book four will land with the hardback first alongside digital and then the paperback a few months afterwards.

I've always wanted to see my books in hardback so that is probably the next step. 

I'll also try and post more here—not guaranteeing anything though. I'll post an update to the FB situation soon as they get back to me and tell me they're permanently keeping me banned LOL

Wishing you all the best for the New Year.

UPDATE #2: Well, it seems to be good news. The account was reviewed and reinstated. I am going to take it extremely carefully to begin with - not doing a lot of "friending" or joining of groups so as not to attract the ire of the FB-bots. That I have to use the platform is bad enough, but needs must. Feel free to find me and "friend" me over there if you want to read any posts I put out about the writing.

Suppose I Better Use This Thing

I've got to admit, I'm pretty surprised. Shocked even. Over 300 views this month alone, people coming every day to see if I've posted anything. Over 2200 views altogether since I created this site and then basically never used it. So as the title says, I suppose I better start using this thing.

Trouble is, I'm not sure what to post about. In fact, it's worse than that: I'm not sure what to write about, and from there stems the paralysis. It started a few years ago when I began the fourth crime novel in the Louise Miller series, a book titled 'Til It Bleeds. As it primarily deals with themes of anxiety and depression and how both sufferers and friends of those in its grip deal with the issue, and being a sufferer myself, I really struggled to get the book flowing. It didn't help that at the time of initial writing I was in the grip of a pretty bad depressive episode.

That was back in 2022/early 2023. I've written over 100'000 words of the book but none of it really gelled together, and I've done well over ten drafts by now. It now sits untouched on a hard drive. In the years since, I went back into full time employment and have been doing that for the most part, selling toy soldiers to hobby stores. I re-released the first three books which are now back on Amazon and doing well - both in sales and KDP page reads. the royalties make for some good pocket money - surprisingly the most money comes from the libraries, a nice lump sum each March.

But it's the day job that pays the bills, but even that has faded for me recently. I've held a passion for tabletop gaming and painting toy soldiers for well over 30 years, but I find no joy in it anymore. It has become more a hassle than a pleasureable past time, to the extent I am selling off my collection and hobby accessories.

It hasn't helped that 2025 has been a tremendously challenging year for our family. My wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer on Valentines Day and fast-tracked for surgery. It was bizarre; we went to what we thought was an appointment for a routine followup to another procedure she had recently had, only to have the doctor look at us both weirdly and say: "You do know why you're here, right? Seeing the head of the oncology department? - You have cancer." We were floored. It was Valentine's Day for fuck's sake! We had plans. Well, not any longer. Those plans became a survival guide. It was serious but actionable. The odds were tough but in our favour - I think we'd have done well in the Hunger Games. Evi would have been proud.

That was when my priorites shifted. That was when the long days working stopped. That was when my love for tabletop gaming as a personal hobby died. 

She was in the hospital for about a week and recovered well. I took a month off work to look after her but a few months she later suffered a serious infection and was back in hospital, this time for several weeks. It was life-threatening sepsis this time, but she responded well to the treatment, though it took some time, and was back home and recovering once again.

During all this I tried to do some hobby, to paint toy soldiers but had lost all appetite for it. Even worse, gone as well was the desire to write. I'd tried several new projects, a few screenplays, some short stories, a new novel, but none of it gripped me like it used to. The same was true with my reading, I was all over the place, jumping from Pratchett to Brooks, Rankin to King. I started my long held desire to read through all of John Irving's catalogue of novels but quickly jumped back to Stephen King.

I was lost. Truly, utterly lost. I still am.

For the first time in my life I don't know who I am anymore. I'm still struggling with that.

My own health scare aside (pesky heart and liver issues forcing a drastic change in diet); financial strain forcing us to get rid of the car (and save nearly £300 a month); getting rid of my smart phone, replacing the distraction with a functional watch and flip phone; ditching the digital stream for the physical CD, DVD and book... all these changes have helped clear the fog from my mind.

Gone as well is the tabletop hobby. It's still my job, and I love talking to people about toy soldiers, but it isn't my past-time anymore. Most of it sold through ebay, the funds used for bills or a new CD or DVD. I've nine John Irving books to read, and I've started writing again.

With all that has happened, with the uncertainty we still face for both my wife and I health wise, I need to write The Magpie's Lament. I need her to read it; I need to write it before I leave this world.

So that's where I am right now. That's what's been going on for the last few years. 

You kept coming back to the site; I hope you still will.

All the best - JP